My First Human Brother

Five years ago today the Alphas became parents for the first time. Today and everyday they remember my human brother, celebrate his life, and are thankful for all of time they have with their kids.

Walking Meatball

The humans had a busy month. I was so overwhelmed with all of the blog topics that I could write about that I didn't write anything all month. Now I feel like a bad dog. So before the Alphas notice that I've been slacking in my blog duties, I'm going to try to catch up with all the exciting things that happened in February.

The Alphas started the month out with a bang by going to Gasparilla and taking the Things with them. Thing 1 got to play in her first street band with her cousin while she enlisted the help of a nice stranger next to her to collect beads and give them to her. (I've got to learn how she does stuff like that. It would be great if I could find somebody to collect cookies and then feed them to me!) Once he gave her the big pink beads, she gave all of the rest of her beads to her cousins and called it a day.

The family capped of that weekend by going to the state fair. Thing 1 got to ride her first carney ride and Thing 2 even got in on the action. Who'd have thought that going around in a circle on fire trucks would be so much fun? Thing 1 made sure to keep turning the steering wheel left so that the fire truck wouldn't jump off the track. I think she might become a Nascar driver one day with all that practice on left turns. The Things loved the carnival ride, but the Alphas did find it a little concerning that the carney worker just handed Thing 2 to the first person who asked for her when the ride was over. This was concerning because the person taking possession of Thing 2 wasn't Alpha Male or Alpha Female. The morale of the story is, never trust a carney.

Thing 1 also went in a fun house at the fair. I hear she enjoyed all of it except the part where she walked into a piece of plexiglass in the mirror maze. The morale of this story is always keep your hands in front of your nose when in a funhouse maze.

And what state fair experience would be complete without a visit to the animals? Thing 2 really liked petting the goats. Maybe she'll be a farmer when she grows up.

The humans also enjoyed Valentine's Day this year. The Alphas aren't big celebrators of the holiday (they say they show their love every day, isn't that disgusting?). So instead of getting a baby sitter or eating chocolate with each other, Alpha Female took Thing 1 to a wedding to celebrate Valentine's Day. And it was very special wedding, too. Cinderella got married! I would have thought that she would do it in her castle in Orlando, but instead she decided to get married in a little community center's multipurpose room. Thing 1 dressed up in her Cinderella dress and Cinderella slippers for the occasion and especially enjoyed the makeover and dance lessons she received after the wedding. Alpha Male, Thing 2, and I enjoyed staying home and napping.

Thing 1 and Thing 2 also enjoyed the long awaited opening of the new kids' area at the zoo. They hung out in the water for a long time. I think they will spend a lot of time there this summer. At the zoo, the Alphas learned that Thing 1 can count to four. (She was counting plastic turtles in the water.) She sounds really smart if you ask her to count to four. But don't ask her to count to five, because she'll blow her cover.

Finally, there is big news from Thing 2 this month. She is a walking machine! Along with her new found walking ability has come a new found eating ability. The Alphas have started calling her "Meatball." Not because she looks like a meatball, but because she loves to eat meatballs. She also loves to eat eggs, pizza, bananas, and just about anything else you put in front of her. I have taught her well, you can tell we're related!

Hyperbole

When Alpha Female was little, around Thing 2's age, she used to keep a journal. Perhaps this was the inspiration for my blog. Now that I think about it her journal was very similar to my blog. Of course, Alpha Female is kind of old so this was long before blogs, or even desktop computers, were common. I guess she was ahead of her time. She also had remarkably good penmanship for a one year old. But I digress. In her journal she wrote about the things that were happening in her life, like her trip to Disney World when she was about a week old and what she got for her first birthday. In one of her journal entries she said that she had pork chops for dinner and that she ate a lot; more than her daddy.

I have always thought this was just Alpha Female exaggerating in her Alpha Female way. However, recently I have started to think that it was probably the completely accurate truth. You see, I've been watching Thing 2 eat. And she really does eat more than Alpha Male on most nights. She can put some food away! This is awfully disappointing to me because I depend on her sharing at least some of her food with me. Last night I think Thing 2 might have had more for dinner than Alpha Male, Alpha Female, and Thing 1 combined. I just hope she doesn't start stealing my food!

Notes from Jail

I just stole bread from Thing 1's hand and now I am doing time for my misdeed. I am in lock up in the bathroom so that I can "think about what I've done." (It's kind of weird that there is a computer in here now that I think about it.) Anyway, I've decided to spend the time blogging, so it's really not a punishment at all.

Here is a question I have for everybody. When you are at a restaurant and a two year old is staring at you while you eat, do you think it's a little creepy? I've got mixed feeling about this. I tend to think it is a little creepy when a stranger stares at me silently. However, when I really think about it, some people may think that I do the same thing. Whenever a human in my family is eating, I watch the situation intently because you never know when food may drop to the ground. I suppose that could be interpreted by some as staring. The reason I ask is because the family was eating at a restaurant yesterday and Thing 1 was standing up in the booth staring at the couple eating in the next booth. She didn't say anything and she didn't smile or wave at them. She just silently watched them interact and eat. Of course, the Alphas took the path of least resistance and just let her do it rather than trying to teach her a life lesson about the impoliteness of staring. I know that if one of the Alphas were to behave that way, it would be very strange and creepy to everybody involved. I'm just wondering at what age this type of behavior is no longer acceptable. Maybe around that same time that it is no longer acceptable to run around naked. Does that mean that nudists get to stare at people no matter how old they are?

Accidents, or the Lack Thereof

My family is just full of big news this weekend! On Friday, Thing 1 didn't bring a big bag full off pee pee clothes home from school with her. She didn't have one accident all day Friday! And no accidents yesterday or today either! In fact, today she hasn't even had a wet pull-up and she went pee pee in a public potty. The biggest surprise was when she walked out into the living room and said, "I did it!" When asked what she did, she told the Alphas that she had gone pee pee in the potty. The Alphas wanted to believe her, but you can't blame them for being skeptical. However, upon closer inspection, Alpha Female discover that the toilet seat did still have some wet pee pee on it, so Thing 1 must have been telling the truth. She went pee pee all by herself. She did it again when she woke up from her nap.

So I'm going to call it and say that she is potty trained, at least as far as the pee pee goes. It took her about 2 years and four months longer than it took me, but I'm still proud of her. Now if only she could stop the disgusting habit of going poo in the bathtub...

It's a....

Since my initial announcement that there is going to be a new Thing around the house, I really haven't heard much more about it. The Alphas refer to it as Bubbles and Alpha Female is starting to get pretty thick around the waist. As the old doggie saying goes, she looks like she has been getting an extra scoop of food every day. However, today there was big baby news. We found out that we are going to be welcoming a little boy to the family. Everybody is very happy and excited about it. Alpha Male was quick to point out that, as long as they give me a vote, there will be as many boy votes as girl votes in the house. I wonder if that means we can get rid of some of the pink princess stuff that seems to be taking over around here.

Moldy Bread

What happened to Thing 1?

Because I consider myself an educator as well as an intellect, I think that question can only be answered by journeying back through time to 1928. It was in that year that Alexander Fleming discovered the mold from which penicillin is derived. Over time, antibiotics received widespread acceptance for treating infections and have save many lives. Our journey through time ends in a pediatrician's office last week, more than eighty years after that landmark discovery. It was in this very pediatrician's office that Thing 1 was prescribed an antibiotic to treat an ear infection. The Alphas have been told that it was this antibiotic that led to Thing 1's horrific rash. Believe it or not, the rash is actually a lot worse than it looks in this picture. I think it's gross but it doesn't seem to bother Thing 1. In fact, she was enjoying an ice bath very much when this picture was taken.