Flea Dip

Guess who needs a new flea and tick collar? That's right, it's Alpha Female. You didn't think it was me, did you? Alpha Female had to ask Alpha Male to pull a tick off of her belly with tweezers. Now she knows what it feels like. You'd think it would generate some sympathy for how hard my life is, but that's not really the way it worked out. Alpha Female suffered a tick infestation and I was the one who got stinky, sticky medicine rubbed into my fur. How is that fair?
And Alpha Female isn't the only human in the house who is experiencing dog like symptoms. This weekend, Alpha Female and Thing 1 were hanging out on the sofa watching Sesame Street. Thing 1 climbed of the sofa and said, "Daddy coming home." Alpha Female always thinks she knows what's going on and she said, "No, Daddy's not home." But Thing 1 stuck to her guns and just repeated, with enthusiasm, "Daddy coming home!" As Alpha Female attempted to correct Thing 1 again, she looked out the window and saw Alpha Male's truck pull up to the driveway. How did Thing 1 know he was coming? Alpha Female asked her, but Thing 1 won't give away her secrets. Of course, I know how she knew. She must have super-sensitive doggie hearing and have been able to hear his truck from about a half mile away, or she could have super-sensitive doggie smelling and have been able to smell his truck from about a half mile away. My advanced doggie senses told me he was coming when he was still a whole mile away.

Endless Loop

If you haven't had a rodent themed song running through your head for the past couple of days you either didn't spend enough time on the links in my last post or you have some kind of a super power. And because the links where hard to stay away from, I'm guessing it's a super power and I am jealous. I would love to not get song fragments stuck in my head, repeating day and night.
I think Thing 1 is starting to suffer from song fragment repetition, too. Last weekend Alpha Female and Thing 1 were coming out of the grocery store and Thing 1 starting singing "E-I-E-I-O, quack, quack, here, quack, quack, here, E-I-E-I-O, DOG!, woof, woof,..." She may not have had the words exactly right, but I bet that just makes it more annoying, because then you are trying to get the song out of your head while at the same time trying to remember the words to the song. That could create a downward spiral to drive a person crazy! It's probably even worse for her when she gets the alphabet song stuck in her head. When she sings that song, she gets the whole tune right, but mumbles her way through all but about 10 letters. It goes like this, "A, B, C, blah, la, la, la, G, la, I, blah, la, la, M, na, na, P, la, blah, na, T, U, la, blahblahbla, la, na, Z!, now I know my A,B,C, next time, blah blah na with la"

Hamster on a Piano

I just found out something very interesting about Alpha Female. Well, at least it is interesting to me. Her favorite song is "The Hamster Dance" performed by Hampton the Hamster. I'm sure you've heard it at some point, it is an internet classic, but I didn't know that anybody really liked the song. I thought people just went to the website to watch the rodents dance and fantasize about chasing them around. That's definitely the only reason I spent so much time on the web in 2001. In fact, I thought I had broken my internet addiction to rodent watching, but then I stumbled upon this video. If you care to watch it, make sure you listen to the song, and don't worry, no hamsters were harmed in the production of this video.

Election Day

I am a supporter of equal rights for dogs. I think dogs should be able to swim at the same beaches and play in the same parks as humans. However, I know that I have many opponents in my quest for equality for dogs and America isn't yet ready to take this step. Fortunately, there is another movement for equality that I strongly support and I think America is ready to support as well. Equal rights for homosexual couples is an idea that's time has come. Two people who love each other should be able to inherit from one another, provide health insurance to one another, and live together until death parts them, regardless of their gender. There is an Amendment to the Florida Constitution which is on the ballot and would prevent same sex couples from enjoying the same legal rights as heterosexual couples. This kind of discrimination should not be tolerated. People may pass whatever morality judgments they choose, but the government should provide equal protection to all. I urge you to vote no on amendment 2. If I had the right to vote, I would.

Products Liability Lawsuit

Oh, no! She's not even looking, she doesn't know she's about to be hit by a bubble lawnmower!

Yikes! The driverless mower is totally mowing down her leg. I wonder why she's still smiling?

I'm so glad she is able to crawl away safely. That was a close call.

Bug in the Kitchen!

This is how it went down last night, Alpha Male picked both of the girls up from school and everybody was waiting at home for Alpha Female to come home. When Alpha Female came through the door, instead of the customary, "Mommy!," she was greeted with, "I want more candy!" Over the next few minutes, the words "candy" and "cupcake" were mentioned about 2,459,827,343 times. I don't think it is too hard to figure out what went on at the Halloween party at Thing 1's school.
Then, during dinner, there was a lot of coaching. It went something like this:
Alpha Female: What do you do first?
Thing 1: Knock door
Alpha Female: Then what do you say?
Thing 1: Trick or treat!
Alpha Female: What do you get?
Thing 1: CANDY!
Alpha Female: What do you say?
Thing 1: Thank you!
It sounded like a good plan. She was thoroughly trained and I even saw practice runs to get the whole thing down. The failure was in the actual execution. Before somebody would answer the door Thing 1 would declare "Trick or Treat," but once there was an actual person standing in the doorway, she completely lost the ability to speak. A few trick or treats were coaxed out of her and a few more thank you's followed, but the good news is that everybody gave her candy even if she didn't talk.
What a difference a year makes. Last year Thing 1 had about three miniature chocolate bars and the Things thought she had just eaten SOOOO much candy! Last night, they didn't even keep track of how much candy she ate, they just kept giving her more every time she asked for it and she did work up the courage say to a neighbor, "I want more chocolate." That made the Alphas proud.