Hyperbole

When Alpha Female was little, around Thing 2's age, she used to keep a journal. Perhaps this was the inspiration for my blog. Now that I think about it her journal was very similar to my blog. Of course, Alpha Female is kind of old so this was long before blogs, or even desktop computers, were common. I guess she was ahead of her time. She also had remarkably good penmanship for a one year old. But I digress. In her journal she wrote about the things that were happening in her life, like her trip to Disney World when she was about a week old and what she got for her first birthday. In one of her journal entries she said that she had pork chops for dinner and that she ate a lot; more than her daddy.

I have always thought this was just Alpha Female exaggerating in her Alpha Female way. However, recently I have started to think that it was probably the completely accurate truth. You see, I've been watching Thing 2 eat. And she really does eat more than Alpha Male on most nights. She can put some food away! This is awfully disappointing to me because I depend on her sharing at least some of her food with me. Last night I think Thing 2 might have had more for dinner than Alpha Male, Alpha Female, and Thing 1 combined. I just hope she doesn't start stealing my food!

Notes from Jail

I just stole bread from Thing 1's hand and now I am doing time for my misdeed. I am in lock up in the bathroom so that I can "think about what I've done." (It's kind of weird that there is a computer in here now that I think about it.) Anyway, I've decided to spend the time blogging, so it's really not a punishment at all.

Here is a question I have for everybody. When you are at a restaurant and a two year old is staring at you while you eat, do you think it's a little creepy? I've got mixed feeling about this. I tend to think it is a little creepy when a stranger stares at me silently. However, when I really think about it, some people may think that I do the same thing. Whenever a human in my family is eating, I watch the situation intently because you never know when food may drop to the ground. I suppose that could be interpreted by some as staring. The reason I ask is because the family was eating at a restaurant yesterday and Thing 1 was standing up in the booth staring at the couple eating in the next booth. She didn't say anything and she didn't smile or wave at them. She just silently watched them interact and eat. Of course, the Alphas took the path of least resistance and just let her do it rather than trying to teach her a life lesson about the impoliteness of staring. I know that if one of the Alphas were to behave that way, it would be very strange and creepy to everybody involved. I'm just wondering at what age this type of behavior is no longer acceptable. Maybe around that same time that it is no longer acceptable to run around naked. Does that mean that nudists get to stare at people no matter how old they are?

Accidents, or the Lack Thereof

My family is just full of big news this weekend! On Friday, Thing 1 didn't bring a big bag full off pee pee clothes home from school with her. She didn't have one accident all day Friday! And no accidents yesterday or today either! In fact, today she hasn't even had a wet pull-up and she went pee pee in a public potty. The biggest surprise was when she walked out into the living room and said, "I did it!" When asked what she did, she told the Alphas that she had gone pee pee in the potty. The Alphas wanted to believe her, but you can't blame them for being skeptical. However, upon closer inspection, Alpha Female discover that the toilet seat did still have some wet pee pee on it, so Thing 1 must have been telling the truth. She went pee pee all by herself. She did it again when she woke up from her nap.

So I'm going to call it and say that she is potty trained, at least as far as the pee pee goes. It took her about 2 years and four months longer than it took me, but I'm still proud of her. Now if only she could stop the disgusting habit of going poo in the bathtub...

It's a....

Since my initial announcement that there is going to be a new Thing around the house, I really haven't heard much more about it. The Alphas refer to it as Bubbles and Alpha Female is starting to get pretty thick around the waist. As the old doggie saying goes, she looks like she has been getting an extra scoop of food every day. However, today there was big baby news. We found out that we are going to be welcoming a little boy to the family. Everybody is very happy and excited about it. Alpha Male was quick to point out that, as long as they give me a vote, there will be as many boy votes as girl votes in the house. I wonder if that means we can get rid of some of the pink princess stuff that seems to be taking over around here.

Moldy Bread

What happened to Thing 1?

Because I consider myself an educator as well as an intellect, I think that question can only be answered by journeying back through time to 1928. It was in that year that Alexander Fleming discovered the mold from which penicillin is derived. Over time, antibiotics received widespread acceptance for treating infections and have save many lives. Our journey through time ends in a pediatrician's office last week, more than eighty years after that landmark discovery. It was in this very pediatrician's office that Thing 1 was prescribed an antibiotic to treat an ear infection. The Alphas have been told that it was this antibiotic that led to Thing 1's horrific rash. Believe it or not, the rash is actually a lot worse than it looks in this picture. I think it's gross but it doesn't seem to bother Thing 1. In fact, she was enjoying an ice bath very much when this picture was taken.

Why the Double Standard?

Thing 2 is making great advances with the potty training. She is now wearing mostly panties, or nothing at all, and I am seeing less carpet cleaner around. Today I decided to get in on the potty training and help her, and the Alphas, out some. She was wearing just her princess shirt (it was a full moon downstairs) and walking around outside eating a cupcake. She had just gone pee pee in the potty so the Alphas weren't being super vigilant. I decided this was the time to make my move.

I could tell just by looking at her that she had to poo. So I stepped off the patio onto the grass and showed her how it was done. She's no dummy, so she followed suit. When she was done, she walked up to the screen door and said, "Mommy, I poo poo outside." At first, I don't think Alpha Female quite believed what she was hearing, but then she walked over to investigate. I thought she would be so proud of me for teaching Thing 1 to go poo poo outside just like I do. Instead, she said, "Wow, you sure did poo poo outside. Thing 1, you should put your poo poo in the potty next time." Thing 1 was then whisked away for a clean up. The Alphas weren't appreciative at all. I never did get a thank you. Next time I won't let her do it on the patio, I'll make her move to the grass. Maybe the Alphas would appreciate that more.

Happy First Birthday Thing 2