Slow News Week

Not much has been happening with my family during the past week. The Alphas saw the results of the poll and I informed them of my intention to henceforth refer to the bulge as "Precious Fluffy." As a result, they've picked an alternate name for the new baby. I know they won't tell anybody, and I can't tell anybody because I can't talk and they censor all of my written communication. However, my human sister also knows the name and you might be able to get it out of her in exchange for a banana. Though she'll probably just say, "no" if you ask her what the name is. She likes to say no. She says it a lot. But she can also show you where her belly button is. When not pointing out various body parts, she enjoys drawing on her Magna Doodle and walking around in circles. I'm telling you, this is one brilliant little girl.

Sense of Self

My human sister has reached another exciting milestone, she has a sense of self! I noticed that she had developed this yesterday. Alpha Female had put pretty blue pigtail holders in my human sister's hair. She had happily worn them all afternoon. Then she walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. She saw the things in her hair and immediately put her hands on her head and pulled them out. Then she smoothed down her hair. It's pretty exciting that she knows she's looking at herself when she sees a mirror. I don't even really understand how the dog on the other side of the mirror knows to move when I move.

Incidentally, I did get a bath. Now I smell like a delicious oatmeal cookie. Alpha Male is the best! Maybe I should use this forum to ask for things more often. Could I please be fed more often?

Could I Please Have a Bath?

That's all, I just wanted to ask for a bath. Even though I'm an extremely intelligent dog, I still don't have the power of speech, so sometimes the best way for me to communicate with my Alphas is by posting on my blog. I hope that one of them reads this and gives me a bath tonight. I mean, I love to smell a little stinky but this is ridiculous!

Miscellaneous Ramblings

It seems like I have a lot to share with all of my loyal readers. I'll share with you in chronological order.

First, Alpha Female got her MPRE score back and found out that she has passed that section of the bar exam! All that's left now is just graduation and then the big bar exam in July. Alpha Female already has her hotel reservations.

Second, Alpha Male took my human sister to the park and she learned how to go down a slide all by herself! She likes to slide down and then turn around and crawl back up the slide. She can even get off of the slide safely at the bottom. I wish dogs were allowed at playgrounds because it sounds like a lot of fun.

Third, the humans in my family were planning on going to Sea World on Friday when my human sister got up from her nap. However, she slept until about 3:30 so the trip has been postponed for a couple of weeks. Instead, they went down to another park and Alpha Female got to see her daughter's slide skills in action. She told me that it really was pretty impressive. Then the humans walked out on a pier (with a big "No Dogs Allowed" sign) and saw a whole bunch of manatees. One swam right under the pier and you could hear them coming up for air all around. The adults thought it was pretty cool, but my human sister wasn't impressed with the manatees. She thought that all of the seaweed on the pier was way cooler.

Lastly, and this post's featured pictures, was the big Tennessee v. Florida game. My human sister really dressed up for this game! Those Gators looked good and my human sister got to practice making the touchdown signal a lot. She really is adorable.

Gauss on Manners

Having good manners is pretty easy for a dog. I have to remember not to lick my privates, not to jump on people (no matter how excited I get), and, if a human has gas, I should take the blame for it. Those three basic rules are pretty easy for me to follow, but humans have a lot more rules to obey. My human sister is trying to learn manners right now and it's not coming easily for her. She will make a sign for "please" when she wants something, but I don't think she does it because she knows it is polite. Instead, I'm pretty sure that she only signs "please" because if she doesn't, the Alphas won't give her what she wants. And the whole concept of "thank you" seems completely foreign to her. In the long run, I think my human sister will learn all of the complicated rules governing human manners, but many people don't, particularly when it comes to interacting with pregnant women. Just yesterday, Alpha Female and my human sister were at the store and some woman asked when the baby was coming. Alpha Female told her early January and the woman looked at Alpha Female's belly, made a face, and said, "Wow, you've still got a ways to go." If I had done something this rude, Alpha Female would have said, "No!" and I would have learned not to do it again. However, apparently this is not a polite thing to do to humans. But in an effort to eradicate this kind of rudeness from society, I am going to help my human sister learn that even when there is a baby in a woman's belly, it is not OK to tell that woman that she is either too fat or too skinny.

The Day Has Arrived!

She finally did it! My human sister can say dog! I've never been so proud.

Halloween Horrors

I've finally figured out the down side of having a human sister who is so cute. This is it, she would look cute in any Halloween costume so it's hard to pick just one. Alpha Female was thinking that she could be Cindy Lou Who, because there is a remarkable resemblance between Cindy and my human sister. However, recently Alpha Female has been having second thoughts. I have noticed that my human sister likes to wear jewelry and hats. She also loves music and, as you can see in this picture, has started playing the piano. I think that she should be Liberace for Halloween.

Super Sweet Sixteen

Today is my human sister's Super Sweet Sixteen Month Birthday! To celebrate, she applied some hair growth tonic. What do you think of the results? She also learned how to say, "ball." You can check out all the other words she can say in my list: "Words My Human Sister Can Say." The list is growing rapidly.

Dogs and Football

I'd like to thank my readers for asking about my view of football in light of the Vick incident. Let me start by saying that my primary allegiances lay with college football. Why? Because the NFL has no canine teams, whereas there are several canine NCAA teams. This year, I'm pulling for the Huskies of Washington and the Bulldogs from Louisiana Tech. I don't understand why these teams aren't perennial powerhouses, considering the clear advantages of four legs over two. I'm glad it's football season again and enjoyed watching some good games yesterday. My condolences go out to any Michigan fans.

Now, about the Vick incident. I think he is a horrible person and deserves to spend lots of time in a dirty jail cell, maybe he should be forced to fight. I also think that the NFL should take a stance against all players committing crimes involving moral turpitude (this includes dog fighting) and ban them from the league. This is really a black and white issue for me. Hurting dogs is bad.