Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Paper, Product, and Freaking Out Your People

I have pedigree papers. These are important documents that show I come from some good genes. I keep these papers with my other important documents, including my living will and my healthcare surrogate. If you don't have these papers, I encourage you get them. The Florida Bar makes these forms available on their website: living will and healthcare surrogate.

As to the question about my hygiene, I use a lovely oatmeal scented shampoo. Anything oatmeal scented will do. You see, Alpha Male likes it when I smell like an oatmeal cookie.

Finally, I've got a great way to freak out your people. This works best if you're usually very quiet. What you do is pick a random night when everybody is sleeping soundly. Then, about 3 or 4 o'clock in the morning, start barking like you really mean it. This is practically guaranteed to get at least Alpha Female out of bed. Then you can just go back to sleep while the people try to figure out what's wrong. It's really quite amusing and I recommend it.

3 comments:

Unknown said...

Personally I feel that a good guard dog is better than any security system with the execption of ADT. They provide a great service at a reasonable price. Its the next best thing to having a guard dog and you don't have to remember to feed it!

Anonymous said...

Did I just see some product placement on this blog? Maybe ADT will send you a penny for 50,000 hits. Gauss you are only a million hits away from a new dog toy!

Anonymous said...

Gauss I am amazed at your nimble canine paws. I have a hard time typing with two fingers.
I'd like to see more pictures of your pink fur-less little sister.