Thursday, September 11, 2008

I Think it Might be an Infestation

Yesterday, Alpha Female was in the kitchen taking care of Thing 1. Thing 1 was saying things like, "mine," "I don't want it," "cheese," and "oh no!" So, naturally, Alpha Female was running around and catering to Thing 1's every whim and desire while I stood by and patiently asked for only one thing, to be fed on time. As dinner time came and went, we heard a skittering sound coming from the living room where Thing 2 was hanging out. It almost sound like something, or someone, crawled (maybe an army crawl) across the floor. Alpha Female went to check on the situation while I stayed in the kitchen on crumb patrol, so I don't know exactly what Alpha Female saw. However, I did hear Alpha Female say, "How did you get all the way over here?" Of course Thing 2 didn't answer her. (I don't know when Alpha Female will finally figure out that Thing 2 can't answer her questions.) Meanwhile, Thing 1 was busy using her fingers to scoop spreadable cheese out of a tub and I was busy watching the ground for globs of cheese. When Alpha Female came back in the kitchen, she asked Thing 1 what happened to the apple. Thing 1 only said, "eat." And when Alpha Male got home, the apple was still sitting on the counter and he asked the same question. To which Alpha Female responded, "I don't know, but you might want to ask Thing 1." What I can't figure out is why she didn't say, "You might want to ask Gauss." I know the answer! The only thing that can explain all of the weird events in my house yesterday is a giant bug invasion! First, the bugs snuck in and carried Thing 2 across the living room as a distraction. Then some other bugs snuck into the kitchen and mutilated the apple while we were all distracted. I just want the bugs to know that I'm on to them.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Man we better call Orkin quick. Thanks for letting us know about the bug invasion Gauss.