Save the Drama for your Mama

My goodness, Bubbles isn't even born yet and he is causing all kinds of drama around the house. Apparently most human babies turn head down in their mamas' bellies when they are about 32 weeks old. Bubbles decided to wait until he was about 37 weeks old to turn himself around. That means that for the last week and a half, the Alphas have been preparing themselves for a trip to the hospital to let the doctor make him turn, and if that didn't work, he would have had to have been surgically removed from Alpha Female's belly (also known as a C-section). Luckily, when they went for an ultrasound today to confirm that he was still breech in anticipation of going to the hospital later this week, they found that he had flipped over. After the Alphas gave each other big high fives, they took a peek at the little guy and it looks like he is doing fine and big enough to come out any day now according to Alpha Female. I can't wait to meet him and teach him how to feed me.

Chatty Cathy

Thing 1 really talks a lot, especially at bedtime. I thinks she would stay up all night chatting if they would let her. The Alphas seem to be amused by most of the things she says, but I don't think they are funny. Like tonight when she told on me...again. Telling on me seems to be one of her new favorite things to do. Every night when Thing 1 goes to bed she brings a snack with her. It started as two raisins and progressed to jelly beans and chocolate chips at one point but it has recently receded to four grapes. And where there is food, I will be found. So after Thing 1 falls asleep, I like to go in her room and eat whatever food is left. (I wouldn't want the food to spoil over night and let her good food poisoning when she ate it in the morning.) The problem is that some nights it takes her a long time to fall asleep, so I've stopped waiting for her to fall asleep and have started going in to her room for a snack as soon as the Alphas leave her unattended. At first I think she enjoyed the company. However, tonight she ratted me out and screamed, "Noooo!" when I ate just one grape. And after she got more grapes, I went back in her room and she yelled, "Mommy, Gauss is sleeping in my room!" Most kids would love to have their loyal dog sleep with them. I have got to figure out a way to win back her trust. Maybe I should figure out a way to break into the Alphas' chocolate chip stash and share them with her.

Thing 2 is starting to talk a lot, too. The words she says best are "uh-oh" and "no." I'm not sure what that says about her, but I think it means that she might be a mischievous little troublemaker. I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Happy Birthday Thing 1

Thing 1 turned 3 today. She helped make her birthday cake and birthday cupcakes and I heard Alpha Female offer her a job as a sous chef. I was happy to hear that, because as long as Thing 1 is helping in the kitchen I know I won't have to wait long for something edible to drop to on the floor.

Keep Your Head Down

I haven't been hearing a lot about baby Bubbles at all during this pregnancy. I think the novelty of being pregnant has kind of worn off for Alpha Female. I guess when it comes to a pregnancy, no news is good news. If it wasn't for Alpha Female's ridiculously enormous girth I may have forgotten that she was going to have another baby, but recently she has actually been buying baby stuff. We now have newborn diapers and some formula in the house. I think we're ready to bring a new baby home. And the Alphas found out that Bubbles is head down so he must be starting to think about meeting us, too. I'm looking forward to meeting him. There's nothing like newborn spit up, yummy!

Wardrobe Changes

Correct me if I'm wrong, but hasn't Cher been known to wear about 50 different outfits during a single concert? I think that Thing 1 might be a little Cher in the making. In the world of two year old humans, I don't think it is that unusual that Thing 1 wears at least one normal outfit and one princess outfit during the day, then after her bath she puts on pajamas, but must change into a princess dress before she actually goes to bed. However, she brought it to a whole new level this morning when she woke Alpha Female up and demanded helping changing from her princess dress back into pajamas at 5:30 a.m. From the growls coming out of Alpha Female, I don't think she is a big fan of Thing 1's fashion decisions.

In the Dog House

I am not a bad dog. I am an opportunist. When Thing 1 went out in the backyard alone while eating a piece of bread I saw an opportunity. I followed her around the side of the house where nobody could see us and I used my powers of persuasion to convince her to give me the bread. That's what really happened. Unfortunately, she decided to give the Alphas a different version of events. While we were still on the other side of the house, she started to cry. When Alpha Female came running, Thing 1 held up her hand and said, "Gauss, bit me." Of course, the Alphas believed her. Despite the complete absence of blood or, indeed a mark of any kind, I got dirty looks and had to listen to them tell me what a bad dog I am just because Thing 1 put her bread where I could reach it. And then to top off the humiliation, Thing 1 pointed her finger at me and sternly said, "We do not bite our friends." That made the Alphas laugh, but it made me wonder if it was OK to bite people who are not our friends...

Did Somebody Say Disney?

The Alphas took Thing 1 to Disney World last weekend. That's right. The didn't take me and they didn't take Thing 2. The only one they brought to the happiest place on earth was Thing 1. The problem was that she didn't think it was the happiest place on earth. She thought it was the scariest place on earth. When Alpha Female went to Disney as a kid she thought there were only two scary rides, Space Mountain and Thunder Mountain; and Thunder Mountain wasn't really that scary. But it turns out she was wrong. Most of the rides are very scary, just ask Thing 1.

They started out on Snow White, Thing 1 had been looking forward to seeing Snow White, but as soon as she saw the evil witch stirring her cauldron she decided she would like to get off the ride NOW! And just in case you're wondering, the whole ride is scary. The brightly lit scene with Snow White traipsing through the woods while the dwarfs whistle and the birds sing never happens. After traumatizing her with Snow White, the Alphas thought that Small World would surely go over better. But they learned that when you're two and you've been one one scary ride, all rides seem scary. Even happy Small World. She was really glad to get off of that one. After the Tiki gods scared her in the Tiki room and Pooh's LSD dream freaked her out on the Pooh ride, the Alphas finally wised up and took her to the Country Bear Jamboree. At least she thought the Bears were funny. And she didn't think that getting chased by wild hippos was scary either. I think it's weird that she thought children dancing and singing were scarier than giant bears and wild hippos.