Where did I put that again?

Thing 1 had a doctor's appointment today to check on her broken arm. Do you see anything weird in this x-ray? (Besides Alpha Female and Thing 1 holding hands.)



In the bottom left of the picture, you can see a foreign object in the cast. How did it get there? Thing 1 must have shoved it in. Fortunately, as it turns out, Thing 1 had to have the little cast replaced with a big cast that goes to her shoulder. When the little cast was removed, the Alphas were pleased to discover that the foreign object was the cover for the mouse pointer on Alpha Female's laptop. They had been looking for that for days. Alpha Female had even asked Thing 1 where it was and Thing 1 said that Thing 2 had taken it. She was lying! I hope the Alphas remember this and don't believe her the next time she says that I ate her missing food.

Owww! My Arm!

I thought the big news this month would be that Horton is finally sleeping through the night. It has been a week now without the Alphas getting up to feed him in the middle of the night. And he actually has a reasonable schedule. Asleep by 9:00 p.m., awake after 7:00 a.m. And with how much Alpha Female has been fixated on and looking forward to this momentous accomplishment, I thought I would have to listen to her celebrate and talk about nothing else for weeks. But Thing 1 managed to top Horton's accomplishment.


You are probably wondering, "How is that possible?" Well, she acquired super powers. Hard to believe, but it's true. The problem is she only acquired partial super powers. She has the ability to jump over sofas in a single bound, but her bones aren't hard enough to withstand the landing. That is why Alpha Female had to rush to the emergency room after receiving a somewhat misleading phone call letting her know that there "might" be something wrong with Thing 1's arm. Might be? I've never seen an arm all twisted around like that when there wasn't something wrong. Actually, I've just never seen an arm all twisted around like that. And unless she is Elastigirl, the bones weren't going to pop back in place by themselves. For your enjoyment, I have included a picture of her singing and dancing around the x-ray room after her multiple x-rays, but you might not want to look too closely at her right hand.


So after spending the afternoon at the emergency room, they received the worse news of the day, Thing 1 wouldn't be able to eat until after the cast was put on the next day at 2:30 P.M.!!!!!! What were they going to do when she got hungry? Of course she would ask for apple juice in the morning and that Thing does not like to hear, "No." If it had been me, I would have opted for the mangled arm rather than the missed breakfast. But Alpha Female is not so reasonable and decided to distract Thing 1 from her hunger pains by buying her things. And to make it worse (I just don't understand Alpha Female) she decided to make a show of solidarity by not eating or drinking until Thing 1 was able to.

They left the house around 8:00 a.m. with a mission to not notice the hunger pains. The library and the ducks outside the library occupied them for a while, but then the spending began. They went to the mall and bought jewelry, got a haircut, made a doll and named her Lucy, and bought ponytail holders. Then they traveled over to Toys R Us and bought halloween costumes for the Things and walked every aisle while Thing 1 pointed to each toy and said, "You can get me this for my birthday!" I think Alpha Female agreed to buy pretty much the whole store for Thing 1's fourth birthday.


They arrived at the hospital at the appointed time and drew pictures, read books, and watched cartoons for about three hours before Thing 1 and Lucy were happily carried back to the operating room. About a half hour later Alpha Female joined them in recovery and noticed that both Dana and Lucy had beautiful pink casts on their right arms! I think that Alpha Female is in love with the entire surgical staff at the hospital because of that thoughtful gesture.


Thing 1 is recovering beautifully. In fact, she thought that yesterday was her birthday because she got so much stuff. And she has been eating candy nonstop since coming home from the hospital. I've counted at least four lollipops today. Is that what it takes around here, do I have to break my leg to get an extra dog biscuit?

Thumbkin

This morning Alpha Female was giving Thing 1 a manicure. Thing 1 was happily admiring Alpha Female's work when she appeared to be overcome by emotion and said, "I love you." Of course, Alpha Female beamed from all the love in the room and said, "I love you, too, honey" and moved in for a kiss. To which Thing 1 replied, "No! I was talking to my thumb." Which was followed by Thing 1 looking lovingly at her thumb and repeating, "I love you, I love you, I love you." I find the whole thing a little weird, but what do I know, I've never had thumbs.

Horton Gets a Room

Most parents have a room decorated for their baby long before the baby is born. Poor Horton, his parents are not like most. About two weeks ago he finally got to move out of the Alphas' bedroom and into a room of his own. This was made possible because the Things were consolidated into one bedroom. The Things have taken to it surprisingly well. Thing 1 likes to come out of their room and tell on Thing 2. I guess Thing 1 has decided that it is against the rules for Thing 2 to stand up in her crib. So whenever Thing 2 stands up, Thing 1 stands in her doorway and yells, "Thing 2 is standing up!" That makes Thing 2 cry, which makes Thing 1 say, "Stop crying! Mommy, Thing 2 is crying and waking me up!" And this is actually better than the Alphas thought it would go. I'm not sure what they were expecting. Maybe more hair pulling?

But I digress. My point is that Horton now has his own room. But it is kind of a weird room for a boy. After living in it for two weeks, it now has a blue changing pad cover (instead of a pink one), a jungle animal bumper pad, and a yellow crib sheet (instead of a pink one). But there are still flowery curtains and a flowery pink fan and Thing 2's name is still on the shelf on the wall. Just yesterday, Horton's name went up on the shelf, but it is kind of haphazardly placed on top of Thing 2's. You would think that the Alphas could have found a few minutes during the twelve weeks of Horton's life or the nine months of Alpha Female's pregnancy to spruce up a room a little bit. Poor Horton. I think the only reason he's not sleeping through the night yet is so that he can guarantee himself a little one on one time with a parent. It doesn't bother him that it's the middle of the night.

Happy Anniversary Alphas

Ten years ago today, the Alphas woke up to an innkeeper pounding on their door and inviting them down to breakfast. Ten minutes later, they woke up to the innkeeper pounding on their door and inviting them down to breakfast again. Five minutes after that they had the pleasure of waking up to the innkeeper pounding on the door and warning them to come down to breakfast or else. They still haven't figured out why that innkeeper didn't figure out that they wanted to sleep past 8:00 a.m. the morning after they got married. They assured me that her breakfast wasn't that good. And that was the last time they stayed at a B&B.
This morning, the Alphas woke up to Thing 1 saying, "Mommy, the sun is up. Time to get up. Daddy, I want to watch a movie!" And it wasn't even 7 a.m. Within minutes, Horton was demanding food and Thing 2 needed to be picked up and carried everywhere. Even though they woke up an hour earlier and didn't get to sleep through the night, the Alphas think that August 22, 2009 is better than August 22, 1999.

Hypothesises, Hypotheses, Hypothesi, More than One Hypothesis

If you haven't talked to Alpha Female in a while, I recommend that you don't. If you have, I am sorry. I'm sure the conversation involved a lot of sleep induced blank stares on the part of Alpha Female, and when she did talk, she probably regaled you with Horton's nighttime adventures. I think he is being graded on the duration and timing of his sleep. Sleeping for four continuous hours is good, but it only counts if it occurs when it's dark out.
I hate to be as boring as Alpha Female by blogging about this, but I feel it's my duty to share, as she has become obsessed with getting Horton to sleep more at night. She has developed a continuing string of hypothesises. He isn't sleeping all night because (1) he's too cold, (2) he's not wrapped up tightly enough, (3) he isn't eating enough, (4) he's too hot, (5) he wrapped up too tightly, (6) he slept too much during the day, (7) he didn't sleep enough during the day.... As soon as one hypothesis is proven wrong, she replaces it with another increasingly complicated reason to explain why our seven week old doesn't sleep through the night. She just can't seem to accept that the reason he isn't sleeping through the night is because he is just seven weeks old!


Now on to a much more interesting topic: me! Yesterday was my tenth birthday. Alpha Male forgot all about it, but when Alpha Female mentioned it to Thing 1, that precious little child suggested that they make a cake for me. Unfortunately, they didn't let me eat any, but it's the thought that counts. And they sure made a mess baking that cake. Shouldn't one of the Alphas supervise this sort of thing?

Adjustments

The new baby has been around for over a month now and we have all had to make adjustments. I am adjusting to sleeping in a different room, where he doesn't wake me up all night. Alpha Female is adjusting by resigning herself to the fact that she can no longer afford the luxury of showering everyday. She is also complaining a lot about not sleeping. What did she expect? Hasn't she done this before? I just tell her to quit her whining.

Thing 2 wants to be held constantly now. The Alphas think this is because she is at that age where kids have a little bit more separation anxiety and the baby probably hasn't helped. But I think it's much simpler than that. She sees that the kids now out number the parents so if all three kids want something at the same time, one of them will have to wait. She figures that if she attaches herself to at least one parent at all times, she'll never be the one not being taken care of. I think it's a brilliant strategy.

Thing 1 is definitely noticing the changes around here. She doesn't really talk about it with the Alphas, but she does share when she goes to school. Last week she informed her teacher of the anatomical differences between her and her brother. "I have a vagina. My brother has a penis." So it turns out she does listen to everything the Alphas tell her. She also thought it was noteworthy that, while their mouths looks the same, she has teeth and her brother doesn't, although he some how manages to retain a tongue.

Finally, I have spent what little free time I have nowadays trying to decide on a name for the new baby. I have decided to call him Horton, because "a person's a person no matter how small."