The Real Scoop

If you ask Alpha Female, she'll tell you that everything is under control around here. If you believe her, the Alphas have had no problems adjusting to the addition of another Thing to the family and they could easily have taken on triplets. If you ask Alpha Male, he'll say that he no longer has free time, but he's got plenty of time to take care of the Things. But, if you ask me, I'll tell you the truth. I'll tell you what has really been going on in this house during the last month.


Thing 1 used to be lovingly dressed every morning in cute little outfits. Now she is allowed to dress herself. I checked the temperature and it was 50 degrees outside when she decided that a bathing suit would make a good outfit for the day. I guess the cold weather is why she added the mittens.


Despite the Alphas' protestations that Thing 1 is gracefully accepting the addition of Thing 2, there have been a couple of issues. Thing 1 will usually give Thing 2's pacifier to either Alpha when they ask for it. The problem is that Thing 1 only has the pacifier because she has snatched it out of Thing 2's mouth. Thing 1 also likes to take blankets off of Thing 2's lap. The blankets aren't given back so readily. And, when Alpha Female was trying to swaddle Thing 2, Thing 1 insisted on first being swaddled herself. However, I don't think the blanket was big enough for her.


I think this might be the most incriminating picture and it requires very little explanation. The pink plastic "bowl" that Thing 1 is snacking out of is really a doll's potty chair. Gross! What if all of the imaginary poo wasn't cleaned out of it?!