In the Dog House

I am not a bad dog. I am an opportunist. When Thing 1 went out in the backyard alone while eating a piece of bread I saw an opportunity. I followed her around the side of the house where nobody could see us and I used my powers of persuasion to convince her to give me the bread. That's what really happened. Unfortunately, she decided to give the Alphas a different version of events. While we were still on the other side of the house, she started to cry. When Alpha Female came running, Thing 1 held up her hand and said, "Gauss, bit me." Of course, the Alphas believed her. Despite the complete absence of blood or, indeed a mark of any kind, I got dirty looks and had to listen to them tell me what a bad dog I am just because Thing 1 put her bread where I could reach it. And then to top off the humiliation, Thing 1 pointed her finger at me and sternly said, "We do not bite our friends." That made the Alphas laugh, but it made me wonder if it was OK to bite people who are not our friends...