Stop Me if You've Heard This One Before

Because I've been absent from blogging for so long, I feel like I have to make a great comeback. So I've been waiting for a great post topic which I can use to make my comeback. Thankfully, the Alphas cooperated and I have big news to share. It took me a while to figure out what was going on around here, though.

I generally think of myself as a very intelligent schnauzer, I may have mentioned that before. However, there is one area of human development which I just don't seem to get. I think it may be because of a certain operation that the Alphas decided would be in my best interest. Anyway, for whatever reason, I seem to be a little dense about certain human activities. I will tell you this story as I saw it develop, but feel free to stop reading as soon as you figure out what is going on.

Back in October, Alpha Female wasn't feeling very well. She didn't want to eat much. Naturally, I figured that she had some worms. There's nothing like worms in your digestive track to make you want to stop eating. However, even though she wasn't eating, she wasn't losing weight and getting washboard abs like mine. In fact, just the opposite. The longer she went without eating, the rounder her belly seemed to get. And then Alpha Male started asking her is she felt OK. He would ask a lot. Then, I started to think that the lack of food was making her hallucinate because she would tell Thing 1 not to kick the baby when Thing 2 wasn't anywhere around and Thing 1 was just kicking Alpha Female's belly. By this time, I was starting to wonder if something very weird was happening again. Then Alpha Female told Alpha Male that Thing 1 needed to get potty trained because Alpha Female "wasn't going to have three of them in diapers at the same time." That really alarmed me. Had Alpha Male started wearing diapers? Or had I experienced urinary incontinence without realizing it? Finally, Alpha Female showed me this picture and I figured it all out.


We're getting a new Thing!!! I am expecting to be able to lick up more spit up milk around June 9. And it's about time, too. Thing 2 is getting very stingy with the Cheerios recently.