You may have noticed that I don't like to share very much identifying information about myself, like where I live or what my family's real names are. This is because I'm afraid of covert operatives. You see, when you are as famous and intelligent as me, and your family won't hire a body guard to protect you, you must always be on the lookout for people who may kidnap you and force you to solve complex mathematical equations. I don't want to make this any easier for the hoodlums by telling them exactly where they can find me. However, I don't think I'll be giving away too much by saying that it has been raining here a lot lately.
People seem to have strong opinions about rain. Generally, I hear people say, "But it's good; we need the rain." However, I don't like rain, not one little bit. When it rains, my bathroom gets all wet and who likes to go potty when the toilet is soggy? It's just gross. The problem, as I found out yesterday, is that my bladder will only hold so much.
Here's the situation. When I woke up yesterday morning, I discovered that it had been raining most of the night. So I decided not to use the facilities, I could wait, or so I thought. A few hours later, Alpha Male came into Thing 1's bedroom and discovered a trail of warm fluid on the ground. Immediately he suspected Thing 1. "Great," I thought, he'll never figure out that it was me. However, when Alpha Male couldn't figure out why Thing 1 would take her diaper off, pee on the floor, and then put her diaper back on, he decided to ask her about the situation. And to my surprise, Thing 1 ratted me out faster than I could blink my furry little eyes. She pointed to the wet spot and said, "Gauss pee pee eeewwwwww." If you ask me, it's still not as gross as going pee pee on a wet toilet.
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