A-B-C Easy as 1-2-3

You know what drives me crazy? It's parents who think that their kids are so great. These parents can just go on and on about how brilliant their completely average kids are, or how well behaved their monster children are, or how beautiful their perfectly ordinary babies are.

Dogs have a different relationship with the kids that they live with. We are much more objective than their parents. And do you know why nonobjective parents drive me crazy? It's because I know that their children could never be as smart, well behaved, or beautiful as my two Things. And because the dog is always a neutral observer, when I say that the Things are perfect, genius models, you know that it's not just my opinion, but actual fact.

We'll start with talking about how smart Thing 1 is. She knows all of her letters and she's only two years old! I'm talking Einstein material here. She's practically reading already. In fact, she can read if the word is "I" or "A." Have you ever heard of such a prodigy?

And don't even get me started on good manners, Thing 1 has great manners! Thing 1 says please without being asked and she even says thank you sometimes without being asked. She always turns on the best manners to get a free cookie and a free balloon at the grocery store. And just look at those table manners. Need I say more?

Finally, Thing 2 has got the good looks department covered. Just look at that face! And she's already learning Latin. She might give me a run for my money in our mental pursuits.

I am so lucky to get to live with two perfect little girls!