The humans spent Sunday at a friend's farm. Farms aren't really my thing. On the city dog/country dog spectrum, I'm much more of a city dog. Some might even say that I'm metrosexual. The farm experience was pure country and the hidden redneck in Alpha Female loved it. She thinks there might even be a little bit of redneck hidden behind Thing 1's princess facade.There were lots of animals at the farm and Thing 1 enjoyed feeding them all. The animals must have thought that she was the devil and had come to torture them because she liked to pick up just one piece of corn at a time and stick it through the fence for them to eat. I'm pretty sure that goats, sheep, horses, llamas, and donkeys, like dogs, prefer to get their food in larger quantities.
There was one goat in particular that must have really disliked both Alpha Female and Thing 1. This goat was the legendary "fainting goat." When goats like her are startled, all of their muscles tense up and the goat will fall over, giving the appearance of fainting. Of course, Alpha Female thought that this was hysterical and she and Thing 1 chased that poor goat all around while they yelled, "Baaaaa! Baaaaaa!" in order to make her faint. Why do humans think that animals are some how impressed when humans make animal sounds? All of you humans should now, it just makes you look ridiculous. In fact, I hear that there is some video of Alpha Female and Thing 1 looking ridiculous as they chased that goat. I will show it to you soon.
Besides tormenting the poor animals, the humans also went on a truck tour of the farm and got stuck in the mud. Luckily there was a tractor back in the barn that was able to pull them out. It just doesn't get any more authentic than that.
1 comment:
Hi Gauss! Please pass our thanks to the Alphas and the Things for coming to visit the farm. We had a great time running around, but we missed you, Gauss. We were wondering whether you would have been rolling around in the mud with us and getting in touch with your inner dog, or whether you would have sat on the sidelines contemplating number theory. We have to say that no matter how metrosexual a dog you may be, we think that there is something about the farm that would make even a city dog like you poop about 10 times into the wind, run around like a banshee, roll repeatedly in the mud, swim in the ponds, try to round up sheep, bark at the goats or just into the air for no reason, and enjoy it all more than you ever imagined. Did you even know that dueling banjos continuously plays in the background up at the farm, but is so high pitched that only us dogs can hear it? It is pretty cool up there. You really missed out. But good news, there is always next time. In fact, our Alphas left the traditional front-yard hoe-down with bibles and barbequed squirrels out of this trip, to entice your Alphas and Things to come back our way. Maybe you can join them next time. (By the way, your Alpha Male could NOT stop talking about how he wanted some barbequed squirrels, and we don't think he was joking. Where is he from again?)
We also wanted to add what nice Alphas and Things you have, and that you should be proud to be part of such a nice family. The Things are so sweet and smart and well behaved, and the Alphas are so fun to be around, easy going, and easy to please. We enjoyed having them at our house, and our Alphas did too. We want you and your family to know that y'all (you would have learned that word down at the farm, had you come) have a standing invitation and are welcome here anytime.
Oh, heck yes. . .we just got some bones. Frampton & Finny out. Woof.
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