The 10-Second Rule

Before I get to my main topic of the day, I'd like to direct your attention to this picture. I think Alpha Female is trying to teach Thing 1 how to change Thing 2's diaper. (Or maybe Thing 1 just liked pulling all of the wipes out of the box.) Aren't there laws against child labor?

Now onto the topic which has become quite a hot button issue. Of course, I'm talking about Floor Food. It seems we have reached somewhat of a compromise on the issue. The Alphas have taught me about the 10-second rule. That is, if any human leaves food on the floor for more than 10 seconds, it becomes the property of the nearest dog (proximity of the dog is measured at the moment when the food hits the ground). They say this will prevent me from "stealing" food from Thing 1. Does that mean that I'm only good enough to get her leftovers? Does that mean that they condone her dropping food on the ground and then picking it back up and eating it?

I'm now working on standing close to Thing 1 while she's eating and just staring at her. I'm hoping that if I stare long enough, it will creep her out and she'll drop her food and run away. Have you ever had someone just sit and stare at you while you eat? It can be pretty creepy. So far it hasn't worked. She just laughs at me and tries to hop on my back for a ride. Maybe I could start charging goldfish crackers in exchange for doggie rides around the living room.