Gauss on Manners

Having good manners is pretty easy for a dog. I have to remember not to lick my privates, not to jump on people (no matter how excited I get), and, if a human has gas, I should take the blame for it. Those three basic rules are pretty easy for me to follow, but humans have a lot more rules to obey. My human sister is trying to learn manners right now and it's not coming easily for her. She will make a sign for "please" when she wants something, but I don't think she does it because she knows it is polite. Instead, I'm pretty sure that she only signs "please" because if she doesn't, the Alphas won't give her what she wants. And the whole concept of "thank you" seems completely foreign to her. In the long run, I think my human sister will learn all of the complicated rules governing human manners, but many people don't, particularly when it comes to interacting with pregnant women. Just yesterday, Alpha Female and my human sister were at the store and some woman asked when the baby was coming. Alpha Female told her early January and the woman looked at Alpha Female's belly, made a face, and said, "Wow, you've still got a ways to go." If I had done something this rude, Alpha Female would have said, "No!" and I would have learned not to do it again. However, apparently this is not a polite thing to do to humans. But in an effort to eradicate this kind of rudeness from society, I am going to help my human sister learn that even when there is a baby in a woman's belly, it is not OK to tell that woman that she is either too fat or too skinny.