I'd like to take this opportunity to address some of my fans' comments. First, about my groomer, I like her because she is nice to me. However, I have gotten some pretty bad haircuts from her in the past. These pictures are my two worst hair moments ever. While the shaggy-do had nothing to do with my groomer, the sheered sheep look was totally my groomer's fault. She confused me with some other (less intelligent) schnauzer who prefers a clean shave to the classic coif. Because of this mistake and because humans are supposed to go to a different kind of groomer than the one dogs go to (trust me, your hair will turn out better), I can't recommend my groomer for any of my human fans.
As to the whole seven years of a dog's life equals one year of a human's life issue, I think this is propaganda. Some human was just jealous that us dogs experience so much more in a single year than most humans do. I suggest just taking the time to enjoy your experiences. When you go for a walk, stop and smell the flowers, and the other dogs, and the trees, and the fire hydrants. This will make you feel as though you've lived the rich life that a dog gets to live. Now what is true about the myth is that dogs do in fact think seven times (at least) faster than humans. In fact, when my human sister drops food, I have to think about ten times faster than alpha female so that I can eat the food before she picks it up.
Finally, on to the caffeine issue. Are you trying to kill me? Caffeine can be fatal to dogs!
2 comments:
Gauss, this is your cousin Sparky and hey, enough with the hair grooming already. Dude, (you are a dude even though the humans subjected you to the dreaded nip/tuck)real dogs don't go to the beauty salon and they don't smell like oatmeal cookies either. The preferred sent is receding lake shore mud, which is really great to roll around in during the dawg days of summer. So, just keepin it real, remember your manhood, have some pride, man, or the next thing you know you'll be coiming home with a bow in your hair and a little knit sweater.
The Alpha female ( a real grammar Nazi) just informed me I misspelled scent, but hey, I'm a dog. Smell, is better anyway, as in the preferred smell, ok maybe odor, you get the idea, cuz.
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