I'm Still Here

Alpha Male asked me today if I had stopped blogging. It was kind of a weird question to get from him. He usually asks me things like, "Are you hungry?" or "Do you need to go out?" You know, questions I can answer by jumping around and running to a particular place in the house. I'm not sure why he asked if I had stopped blogging, it's not like I can talk or even shake my head. Sometimes he's just weird I guess. But the answer is no, I haven't stopped, just slowed down a little. What do you expect from a seventy year old living with three kids under four?


Of course, there is lots to share from my family. Maybe too much, I don't know where to start. I'll try to catch you up by sharing my very own list of things I've heard in my house during the last month.


10. "Thing 1, don't eat your boogers."

9. "Thing 2, don't eat your boogers."

8. "Girls, don't sit on your brother."

7. "NNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" This is usually said by one of the Things, but I've also heard it come from Alphas coupled with a huge mess and a hint of despair in their voices.

6. I'm not sure how to spell this one, but in my house it is spoken very loudly and in an unthinkably high pitch, "AAEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII." I am pretty sure it translates to "NNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" and I'm pretty sure Thing 2 is the only one capable of producing this sound.

5. "You don't need to feed Gauss, he already ate." I hate it when I hear this.

4. "It looks like a tornado came through this place!" If I had a dollar for every time I heard this...

3. "Thing 2 is waking me up." Thing 1 says this after she has been screaming and protesting bed for several minutes and then Thing 2 rustles her sheets as she turns over in her crib. Oh, if the Things only understood irony.

2. Alpha Male: "Who spilled all this water all over the bathroom floor?"
Alpha Female: "Uh, water's not yellow."

1. Alpha Female: "Wow! Horton really is going to be crawling before Christmas."
Alpha Male: "He's a beefcake."