Parade = Candy

I know that the Fourth of July was more than a week ago, and some people may think that was so long ago that it is untimely for me to be blogging about it now. However, around here, a week isn't such a long time anymore. It is unbelievable how busy Alpha Female has kept me while she is studying for the bar. She has banished me from helping with the substantive studying because I just couldn't understand why she wasn't getting more questions right. Law is just intuitive to me, but sometimes I forget that I am an exceptionally smart schnauzer. So, since I can't help her study anymore, I am trying to help around the house more. I specialize in cleaning the floors. Tonight I helped by licking spaghetti sauce off of the tile and earlier this weekend I tried to help clean up a box of spaetzle. I'm German, so I love spaetzle. When I noticed that somebody had dropped a box on the floor, I thought that I would be helpful and clean it up. I had just finished shredding one corner of the box into little pieces and was about to eliminate the need for the Alphas to pick up any actual spaetzle when Alpha Female came by and picked up the box herself. I mean, does she want my help or not? If she had just waited a few minutes longer, I would have devoured the spaetzle and all that would have remained of the box would have been tiny little pieces of cardboard, so little that they just would have blended in to the rest of the junk that's laying around this house. I'm just trying to be helpful.

Anyway, back to the Fourth of July. The Things went to their first Fourth of July parade this year. I wasn't invited to come along, the Alphas told me it would be too hot in my fur coat, but it sounds like it was fun. Once Thing 1 realized that people were giving her candy and jewelry, she started waving her flag and batting her eyelashes at everybody. At one point, she was eating three lollipops at once! I'm not sure what her political leanings were before the parade, but I'm pretty sure that after the parade, she'd vote for anybody who gave her a lollipop or a beaded necklace.