A-P-T-Y-A-L-I-S-M

The Scribb's National Spelling Bee was broadcast over the weekend. In many families, this event may have passed with little or no notice. However, in this family, it was cause for great excitement. It seems that the Alphas have an unusual fascination with spelling bees. Perhaps it stems from an incident when Alpha Female accidentally said "w" instead of "y" when spelling "boy" in a second grade spelling bee. Or maybe the roots of this fascination took hold when Alpha Male rented a documentary about spelling bees and the Alphas watched that movie during the emotional time when they were in the hospital waiting for my human brother to be born. It seems, regardless or how it was acquired, the Alphas' interest in spelling bees is here to stay. When they saw that the finals were being televised live Friday night, there was no more question about what to watch on TV that night. What could be better than watching middle school kids have their dreams crushed because they spelled a word with an extra "e" on the end?

I usually find that spelling bee words are pretty obscure and have a hard time imagining how any of the words could possibly be used outside of a textbook. But then I heard the definition for the word "aptyalism." Finally, a word I could relate to. Well, I can't really relate to "aptyalism," but I did know immediately that Thing 2 did not have it. Absolutely the contrary in fact, if you look up "aptyalism" in a thesaurus, I bet Thing 2 is listed as an antonym. Aptyalism means a lack of saliva. Thing 2 can soak through several outfits a day with her copious output of saliva. Maybe next year the spelling bee will teach me the word for excessive saliva. Until then, I'll just use the term anti-aptyalism and I will try to use it as often as possible when I am describing Thing 2's incredible saliva talent.

Thing on Thing Interactions

When Thing 2 first made her appearance in our house, the big question was, "How is Thing 1 handling it?" The Alphas were pleasantly surprised to be able to say that Thing 1 was doing just fine with the introduction of a new Thing to the family. What the Alphas failed to take into account was that Thing 1 was doing so well because Thing 2 couldn't do anything yet. Why would Thing 1 feel any animosity toward a baby that just lays around and sleeps? Now that Thing 2 is starting to seem like more of a person to Thing 1, Thing 1 is starting to have some adverse reactions to her.

Until recently, the Things would usually bathe simultaneously, but separately. Thing 1 would get the big tub (and all of Alpha Male's attention), while Thing 2 was relegated to the tiny baby bathtub sitting on the counter (and the less desirable attention of Alpha Female). However, because Thing 2 is such a piggie and eats all of her food without sharing any with me, she is getting way too big for such a tiny bathtub and the Alphas have started bathing the Things together. Bathing Thing 2 in the big tub can be tricky enough in and of itself, because it requires leaning over the side of the tub and supporting Thing 2's head while the rest of her body floats around. This is harder than it sounds, because her huge thighs tend to make her very buoyant and the real trick is trying to keep her from floating out of your hand (or paw, as the case may be). Adding to the challenge of this task is Thing 1's reaction to her sister. When Thing 2's leg floats over to Thing 1 and touches her, Thing 1 appears to be disgusted and protests, "no, no!" The same scene (minus the naked, floating baby) plays itself out over and over again in our house whenever Thing 2 gets her hands on a toy that Thing 1 decides she then wants to play with.

This good news to come of this is that I think I am Thing 1's favorite. When I took a bath with her, she didn't push me away. However, she did need to take another bath after I got out of the tub because I dirtied the bath water too much. It's good to be the dog!

Graduation Day

Even though Alpha Female finished law school last December, she didn't have a graduation ceremony until last weekend. She told me that the only reason she wanted to go to the ceremony was so that she could have this family picture taken.

Now that she has officially graduated, she has also officially started preparing for the Florida bar. I think that is going to keep the whole family busy for most of the summer. I'm going to have to help her study a lot and give her lots of pointers and motivation, it might even cut into the time I currently devote to blogging. Alpha Male is going to have to learn how to do laundry, a skill he seems to have lost during the last nine years. Maybe Thing 1 can contribute by learning how to go pee pee in the potty. And Thing 2 can help out by learning how to hold her own bottle. We are already looking forward to July 31, the day after the bar exam.

Roll Over

Thing 2 learned a new trick. She can roll over. Thing 1 isn't very impressed with Thing 2's newly found talent. When the Alphas make a big deal about Thing 2 rolling over, Thing 1 gets down on the ground and shows us that she can roll over too, and she expects the same kind of applause that Thing 2 gets. Unfortunately, rolling over isn't that impressive once you're two, or if you're a dog. I don't even get cookies anymore when I roll over.

Personal Penguin

Yesterday, as I was alternating between dozing and observing my family, it occurred to me that Thing 1 really, truly believes that Alpha Female serves no other function than to cater to Thing 1's every whim. Alpha Female had been doing something other than doting on Thing 1 (she was probably giving some attention to Thing 2 for a change). When Thing 1 was finally able to get Alpha Female's attention, the Thing grabbed her by the finger and dragged her into the kitchen. This happens all the time and I love it. Usually Thing 1 then demands that Alpha Female open the cupboard door so that Thing 1 can browse for food options. Often times, Thing 1 will toss me a box of raisins while she is selecting something for herself. I love raisins. However, this time was different. Thing 1 stopped in front of the refrigerator and requested that Alpha Female fill up her teacup with water from the refrigerator door. Alpha Female complied, like a good little servant, and she thought she would be free to go once the cup was filled. However, Thing 1 had other ideas. She actually tightened her grip on Alpha Female's finger to ensure that Alpha Female would not slip away. Thing 1 then leisurely drank her water and received several refills before taking Alpha Female to the cupboard to stand by while Thing 1 picked out a snack. Thing 1 then took Alpha Female to her toy kitchen. I fell back asleep then so I don't know what happened, but I bet Thing 1 made Alpha Female pretend to do the dishes and clean up Thing 1's kitchen while Thing 1 relaxed and ate her plastic ice cream cone. I wish I could have my own personal servant.

Happy Birthday, Thing 1!

Yesterday was Thing 1's second birthday! I was so busy looking for chocolate cake crumbs that I didn't get a chance to post this picture yesterday. Thing 1 had a great day. I'm not very happy with her birthday presents though. She got a kitchen and she seems to enjoy pretending to cook and licking the plastic ice cream cone. However, I am not enjoying all the pretend food. Why can't the Alphas let her play with real food? I'm very good at helping her clean up. She got another troubling toy, too. An animated stuffed dog. Am I getting replaced?

It's Official

I didn't want to say anything about this before because I was afraid that if I mentioned it, it might not be true. But it is true. Thing 2 sleeps all night without waking up! That's 12 hours in a row! I had forgotten what it was like to not have to get up in the middle of the night and protect Alpha Female while she fed Thing 2. I don't know how my birth mother did it with seven puppies at the same time, and my father wasn't even around to help her!